? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She said her name was "party"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
