R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
