So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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