I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
