Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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