Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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