I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just found puke in my bra..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
