kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
