Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
