she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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