This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
