when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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