that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
