We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
