He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
