did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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