At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
