please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You can't special order awesome
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
