u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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