you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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