How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
