mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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