you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
