i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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