I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
