p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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