Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
