me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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