I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
