11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's even glitter on my cock...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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