She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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