Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
