I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She said her name was "party"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
