so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Someone shit on the floor
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
