The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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