My nipple is on Facebook.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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