Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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