**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
