Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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