As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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