Fuck appropriateness.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
