some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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