best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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