My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
