We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She told me I should be a condom model.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
