oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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