Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
