hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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