Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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