I'm going to jail i love you
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
