Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
