if i died would you start the facebook group?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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