Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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